Naturally, I Ended up Writing about Nature

As I try to write more often, I have decided to take daily prompts from wordpress as inspiration. You can find the daily inspiration here. Today’s prompt…Natural.

This one might be a hard one. Natural. What do I think of when I think of the word ‘Natural’? I guess in a way that is what is at the heart of everything I am striving for in my life, to exist in nature, which is the true definition of the word, correct?

This is my walking in the woodsheaven. There is just something about being in the woods, walking, being one with nature that bring me peace. This picture was snapped with my phone a couple weekends ago when Erin had her state cheer competition out in Grand Rapids. Since we were so close to Lake Michigan, I detoured off to do a quick hike out to the water.

There is just something very satisfying and right to think about going backwards a bit and growing more of your own food, preparing for the winter months and canning your food. I’m not saying I don’t enjoy modern conveniences. I do! What would I do with internet and my constant source of information. Anything I want to do is possible with a quick google search.

I think the biggest problem I would have with that kind of lifestyle would be meat. I’m a believer in eating meat and I’m not really looking to convert to a meatless diet. I could in no way whatsoever raise a cow and then eat it. NO WAY! Lake Michigan

Anyway, I have a few more pictures from our trip to the water. We hiked through the wood and up some pretty big hills to reach this area – the dunes and then Lake Michigan. It’s a pretty lake, but it is very cold.

A group of tourists in their 20’s approached this dune and were awestruck by the beauty of this great lake and the one guy said to this group,”Oh, It must not be too cold there are people in the water.” I can never keep to myself in public had to comment, “It’s freezing in August, it’s comparable to ice water right now.” We all laughed and they made their way to water.

It’s true though, at the end of August it feels like you are dipping your body into a glass of ice water. That water is cold! And I believe that Lake Superior is even colder with an average temperature of 40 degrees!  In comparison, Lake Michigan is about 55 degrees right now in the area that we visited. The middle of Lake Superior – 38 degrees.

Selfie

Here’s a funny picture we snapped while hiking back. If you look close there is sweat rolling down my face because the hills are so damn challenging – I LOVE it!!!  Can you see how big I am, just from my face? It’s disturbing. My body has really taken a beating from being sick this year. But I’m working on it, what can I do. Regardless of how I look in this picture, I love it so much because Erin is being such an ass. This is her in her true form. Also, see the height difference, I’m actually standing on an incline of the hill :(

Well, I think I strayed a bit off the topic, but what the heck, it’s my interpretation so it really doesn’t matter.

I’m off work today for Erin’s last day of school. She will be an official high school girl in a few hours. Unbelievable.

I’m picking her and a group of Girl Scouts up at the school and then we are going to buy our vegetable plants, come back to my house for lunch, walk down to the community garden, plant our plants and when that is finished we are heading to the movies.

It’s going to be a day in nature being natural. :)

Tree

It’s Time to Rebuild in Order to Be Great

As I try to write more often, I have decided to take daily prompts from wordpress as inspiration. You can find the daily inspiration here. Today’s prompt…Rebuild.

People tell me I’m so hard on myself. I’m not really, I just hold myself to a high standard because I see clearly the challenges that stop me, and others, from being successful. Regardless of whether it is success in business or relationships, I can see what is in the way. If we can approach the situations of our life head on, and if we are willing to accept the hard facts, this is what will determine if we meet our goals or not.

Here is how my brain works…I’m a fixer. I’m always scanning, collecting information and identifying the rights and wrongs of the situation. I’m sure if we psychoanalyzed me this all comes from my upbringing. You know the story, parents meaning to do well, they inevitability screw their kids up. Regardless of how I came to harness this skill, I have built by career around it and I’m darn good at what I do. Plus I love it. Nothing gives me more pleasure than to ‘fix’ things.

It’s everywhere I go too, everything I’m exposed to, even just sitting in the chair at the salon, I’m listening to every word you are saying while you are working your magic on my helpless hair. I listen to you talk. I hear your goals. You are frustrated, you rent a chair to a lady who isn’t exactly fulfilling the image your are looking to create for your salon, but you can’t part with the monthly rent. Then there are the logistics of running a business, it destroys your creativity, and let’s face it, you are an artist.

In my mind I’m processing it all, and I’m dreaming about the changes that I would make to help you find success. They are pretty simple changes too because you rock. You are the best at what you do, but no one really knows about it. The right marketing and few simple adjustments and we could take the pressure of running your business off you. I’m confident we could make your business very lucrative in a short amount of time, all while maximize your creativity.

Excited, I mention something to you about how I could help and you instantly squirm. I know change is scary. You are right where you are because that is what is comfortable to you. Your not ready to hear what I have to say and that is okay. I drop it.

A month later the ideas are still swirling around my head.

************

This is what is going on in my brain, at all time, it never stops. I have plans for other people and businesses everywhere. I’ve made a name for myself in my industry because I fix. I take your business and I rebuild it from the bottom up. I take what works and I grow that. I purge the bad. I have the hard conversations. Not just with your employees, but with you. I tell you the things that everyone is too kind to say to your face. The strong and confident respect me. The weak are intimidated.

I’ve made millions for people and continue to do so today.

************

My life. I’m a fucking struggling wobbly wheel at times. Broken. I’m healthy though, probably more than I have ever been in my life. I’m talking mentally healthy. It’s time for my own almighty intervention. I know what needs to be fixed, just like I can see a struggling business, I know my weaknesses. I’m about to have those hard conversations that most people are afraid to have, only this time it is with me. I’m firing a few ’employees’ because while they are great people, they are holding me and my ‘business’ back from being great.

It’s time to rebuild.  Rebuilding is hard, but necessary in order to be great.

Understanding. The Killing of Society

As I try to write more often, I have decided to take daily prompts from wordpress as inspiration. You can find the daily inspiration here. Today’s word…Understanding.

I have a hard time understanding this world that we are living in. I have a hard time understanding hate and deceit. I have a hard time understanding why love doesn’t ever win.

An inability to recognize the pain he has inside causes a husband to disrespect his wife and child. He says he loves them, but because there is such an emptiness inside him, love is impossible. He feels jealousy when he sees the love between mother and child and this jealousy causes a fire that burns inside of him. The only way to put the fire out is to break the love he sees, not only between his wife and child, but between everyone he sees. With his fake smile, he pretends that he is nice, but he’s just crafted his lies through the year to look convincing. There are moments though that you still believe him. You have to otherwise you would break.

Last night I watched another one of those documentary movies about the food industry and I just want to scream. I have a hard time understanding why our government allows for corporations to hurt its people this way. The death of loved ones, the scars the workers carry seeing the final moments of so many who want nothing more than one more day to take a breath. Yet they continue to poison us. They look at us passionately through that beautiful protective TV screen – that box that keeps you safe and opinionated – and they tell us that they care more about us than the other guy. Once you switch the channel though, your fate is sealed. He too has crafted his lie and he too is convincing. And you still believe him. You have to because the truth would cause you to break.

How am I to show understanding to the person with so much hate in his heart that he killed innocent people just because he thinks they are so different? As if it is not enough that we breathe the same air. To know that they have a mother, a father, a brother, a sister, friends that love them. The pain is so deep.

What have we done to our people
that we can no longer see into each other eyes?

When I was young, I would drive in the car with my father and in those days cars were a bit more unreliable.  It wasn’t uncommon that one would breakdown in the middle of traffic. When this happened, he and every other able-bodied male would jump out of the car and in a symphony of kindness and compassion, they would push the car out of traffic. If they were a handy group, they might even get the car back on the road. I watched this scene with excitement too may times to count, proud that my father was able to help. Today, a car was broke down in traffic and as the drivers made their way around this afternoon inconvenience, they yelled and cursed at the driver. My heart broke into a million pieces and I just put my head down and told God that I was sorry. Sorry for man. Sorry that his pain is so deep that he has to hurt everyone around him.

The people. Us. We shake our heads, we cry our tear, we talk about it the next day or two with friends. Then we go back to our husbands, who have jealousy and pain in their hearts and we allow ourselves to just push down all the wrong, but when we push down the wrong in our lives, we also push down the wrong in our food, the wrong in our government and the wrongs of our society. At some point we need to scream for it all to stop. We have to start treating the world with love, not hate. We need to collectively put an end to the hate that runs our world. We have to say stop in our homes, in our government and in our food.

We need to stop killing each other. No more understanding.

Things I Saved on Facebook This Week

I have an addiction of ‘saving’ things when I come across them in my Facebook timeline thinking that I will come back and read them later.  I do occasionally go back, but not nearly enough to stay on top of things. At the moment, I have 458 items saved to read later. So, I thought that I would start sharing them with you here at a weekly theme.

A Boy and His Dog

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First up, let’s hit on a heartwarming story. A woman was reviewing her security camera at home and she noticed a little boy from the neighborhood drop his bike, run up into her garage where her dog was, give her dog a hug and then run back to his bike to ride off. She was so touched by his love for her dog, she reached out to the neighborhood trying to find him. Once he was identified and they talked, she found out the dog and boy were good friend. Follow the link above to read the story and see the home security video. Awww…too much love here!

 

Graduation Dessert

It’s graduation season – wouldn’t it be cool if you were skilled enough to kick out some cookies like this!?!

 

I will not judge, I will not judge, I will not judge…

We can categorize this as totally bizarre.  This woman quit her job in order to breastfeed someone truly special in her life. I’m not judging though, just trying to process it all.

How true is this!?!

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Game Three

There is a big basketball game tonight and it looks like the Cav’s are feeling a little bit bullied. I’m not sure I’d call it being bullied, but they sure did get their butts kicked in that last game. For Erin’s sake, I hope they pull it out this game before they get too far behind in the series.

 

Recipes I Saved This Week…

 

A Conversation About Sleep

The end of the school year is killing me on so many levels. It’s 11:00 now and I just finished working with Erin on her math homework. That is, all but the six we couldn’t figure out. It’s like there is this huge push to get as much in on the last week of school. So darn counterproductive because everyone is just maxed out. And that is including the teachers.

Yesterday we had a Girl Scout meeting and that lasted until 8:00. After I chatted up each of the parents when they picked up their daughter, I didn’t get back in the house until about 9:00.

Then work, I wasn’t able to leave until 6:30 today, which means I arrived home at 7:30. I literally walked in, sat in the chair, and went to sleep until almost 9:00.  8:44 per my Fitbit:

Fitbit Nap

 

Speaking of sleep – look at how awful I sleep.  I mean it is actually pretty disturbing to me. I go in for a physical in a few weeks and I’m going to go and have a sleep study done and see if I need a CPAP machine. I am so tired every day that I have trouble staying up on my way to work. I often sit in the car and sleep for another 15 minutes when I pull into work.

Fitbit Week Sleep

The little hash marks mean that I was restless and when it is red, that means that I was actually up.

I know a big problem is that I have to sleep with ‘one eye open’ because Rob often has low blood sugar at night and occasionally I need to help if he goes too low. I recently told him that I think I need to move out of the room and get my own bed because it is just not healthy to never get a good night sleep.

This reminds me to talk about last Friday, if you notice, I had a little catnap from 9:10-11:17. I took the day off work because I had an early morning violation, I mean ultrasound, of my lady parts. They found a cyst on my right ovary. Interesting. That explains the insane pain I feel when I ovulate on that side. I have no idea what they are going to do, my doctor never even called me back, I just read the results on my medical portal when they posted. It looks to be about an inch and from what I’ve read online they don’t really do much with something that small.

Later that day I had an appointment with my boob doctor. Things look good. They were happy with how I was healing and packing really wasn’t helping much because it would fall right out since it didn’t have much depth any longer. Would you know they burned the shit out of my incision and the remaining opening with some silver nitrate. It hurt for a freaking day afterward, but it looks like it really kicked the closing of the incision into overdrive. I’m definitely looking forward to putting this behind me. I’m praying it doesn’t come back.

That’s all I have for the night – I’m going to try and get some sleep :)